by Gabrielle Hubert, Wellness Coach, 2016.
Shirley always wears tops with long sleeves but she cannot explain why? She says: ‘I just feel better like this!’ How clothes could have an influence on Shirley’s feelings and behaviours? Clothes have something important to say to the individual who wears them. (…) They are activators of memories. The aim is to bring the unconscious memories to the consciousness. There is a way to listen carefully the secret message of uncomfortable clothes and open the drawer of memories to help the individual to evolve in self-development process.
1. Clothes, triggers of emotions
The uncomfortable feeling of being in particular clothes is not a trivial thing. A few months ago, I watched a replay of a French webinar. The topic was: ‘‘How to Feel Confident in your Way of Dressing’ (…). Clothes could make people feel uncomfortable due to the lengths of sleeves, the presence of a zipper or a textile which could cause itching (…). Why do people feel bad when they wear specific clothes? How could clothes impact on the feeling of wellbeing of people?
Clothes are a powerful emotional trigger. In ‘The Memory of Clothes’, a book edited by Robyn Gibson from the University of Sydney, short stories were gathered which demonstrated how clothes were able to bring back memories to people. (…) In ‘The Red Pashmina’, Victoria Campbell (…) told us how a simple piece of fabric saved her from a desperate state. This example describes the positive way clothes can impact on a person through the form of conveying a helpful message. However, if clothes were to trigger discomfort in the form of itching for example, what I could be said about that?
2. How to listen and understand
Why do people feel uncomfortable when they wear particular clothes? Clothing interacting with the skin can sometimes become the trigger for disruptive feelings which start to elaborate some limiting beliefs. To illustrate this, I have to tell the story of the turtleneck collar: indeed, I’m unable to wear a turtleneck. I can wear scarfs but not a turtleneck, it’s a torture… my turtleneck torture! Why is this so? (…) - Personal story - (…) Due to this, I developed an unconscious guilt feeling.
Due to the fact that clothes touch the skin, the skin reacts to the external stimuli. Indeed, if I return to my fundamentals such as the ‘Skin-ego’, concept elaborated by Didier Anzieu, the skin-ego is able to print and record from the time of an individual’s birth to his death (…). How do I re-connect the individual with his skin memories? Well, to simplify, Skin-ego constitutes the main tool which allows an individual to comprehend the world in its kinaesthetic dimension according to Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) principles. Through Skin-ego, the individual builds his own reality. The skin sensors record kinaesthetic information and transmit it to the brain. This kinaesthetic information is imprinted in our memory as well as in our responses which over time, become automatic (…). However, the individuals’ emotional states are not permanent. Because of this, some responses become inappropriate to the particular situation because they would need to be updated (if I can express it that way). Thus, an individual’s programming reveals dysfunctions and as a consequence of this, the individual feels uncomfortable.
For example, I’m not a person who enjoys and feels confident speaking to an audience. There is really no good reason for this, but now, I feel I can explain it as a consequence of the ‘turtleneck collar’ effect. My unconscious guilt feeling is causing my throat Chakra to be locked, and the consequence of that is that I now have poor public speaking ability. Due to my ability to be able to read the turtleneck information, I can now associate the cause and the effect with one of the possible consequences. No training is able to remove this consequence. I have to work on the cause to be able to delete the effect. Today, increasing my public speaking ability is entirely possible simply because I now have this knowledge.
3. How to use this information?
Now, to elaborate on the process which allows us to identify the effects caused by those uncomfortable clothing feelings (…). The conscious discomfort of wearing specific clothes represents the individual’s opportunity to establish connections and to reveal some unconscious memories using the massage therapy technique. During a massage session, the receiver sinks into a state of consciousness (in between waking and sleeping). Due to this, the unconscious memories flood back up to the conscious surface thus enabling the individual to express them. His responses to his body memories are highlighted. When the effects are known, we then have to find the cause. After this it is a matter of updating the individual’s programming and at the same time add new programmes. The individual will thus perceive a new reality for making new choices which will, in turn, assist him to move forward.
The question that to be asked now is: how does someone go about changing something uncomfortable and useless into readable and helpful information so that he can use for increasing his self-confidence? To answer this question, I can relate my relevant father’s story. All his life, my father was incapable of wearing any clothes made of velvet (…) – Personal story – (…). However, his childhood trauma was a significant trigger in pushing him to strive towards success in the later years of his life (…). My father’s conscious trigger was used in a positive way. According to NLP concepts, the velvet trousers issue (like the red pashmina issue mentioned previously) constituted positive anchors.
Returning to my turtleneck collar issue, I can resolve my dysfunction and thus, I could become a better public speaker. In 2000, I was trained on the NLP technique by Dora Pannozzo (…). Using it, I can collapse my turtleneck collar negative anchor. Umar Hameed is a neuroscientist who helps people improve their performances. In a video on YouTube, he has expertly explained how to collapse negative anchors using the fist (…). How does it work? Due to the fact that all matter, the mind and the body are made of the same particles of energy, the collapsing anchors concept consists of connecting the energy of desire (of change) with the emotions through visualisation techniques. Thus, the object is to change a person’s harmful programming (which produces limiting behaviours) and to replace it with new programming which helps people be freed from those previous behaviours. The collapsing negative anchor technique could well be the most amazing process on Earth but it works without pills and without suffering! The massage therapy and NLP techniques are fast means for increasing self-confidence and for moving forward. What does the individual want when he decides to change something in his life in order to be happy? He wants to get a fast result!
Through clothes and the message which they have to deliver, the individual has the opportunity to modify his perceptions and as a result of this, he changes his limiting beliefs and behaviours. He listens to the message of his clothes and wakes-up his Skin-ego memories which are connected to this specific message. Due to the Skin-ego, natural computer of his skin, the individual can remove and add new programming, thereby extending his field of possibilities. Finally, he has become an active listener of his needs. He has understood that ‘good or bad’ makes no sense and that all emotional information is useful to his wellbeing. He is ready to act in favour of a better life (…). It's so good! Can he continue? Of course he can. There are absolutely no limits on what brave people can do who want to feel better day after day!
The Secret Message of Uncomfortable Clothes (Complete version)
Available at firstname.lastname@example.org
Bibliography and research
Draw your future
By Patti Dobrowoloski
Is it efficient?
Yes, it is. Today, my thoughts are clear for making decisions easily and going ahead. I’m feeling well, surrounded by friendly people who I love to help. I’m aware of how lucky I am because my physical and mental health are good enough to undertake what I have to do everyday. I have been practicing massage techniques since 2003, intense English learning for the last two years and I’m comfortable with my clothing style. I’m feeling confident and I’m happy with my life.
Thank you so much Gabrielle.
I really enjoyed the day with you. You did excellent job and was very professionally done.
Choosing my colours was interesting and fun. I never thought I had colours sense but I could feel which colours suited me better.
With the make up… At first, I thought… Maybe too much, but when I go out for special night or milonga… I would wear this make up. Gabrielle taught me how to so I can do it myself. Actually, I went to E-Tango after this, I had some nice compliments.
At last, thanks to Brittany who did haircut. You also did wonderful job. I'm very-very happy with it.